Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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