bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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