fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
