Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Let's get the cat blown out
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
dude. I can hear the air.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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