Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
handjob tips. give me some.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
