Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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