theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
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