All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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