3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
