It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I need to stop coming to work sober
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
