mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
