I feel like abortions should bother me more
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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