Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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