fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
