its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
