I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this hospital has no fireball
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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