office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
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Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
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One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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