why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
