glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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