If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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