dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
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