im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
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I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
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He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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