Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
How drunk are you?
Completed.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
