I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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