Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
