All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Are we still banned from the library?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
