I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
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