I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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