i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
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