Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
