Fine. I'll sleep in my office
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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