He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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