we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
