drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Randomize