If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
