Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
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i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Boobs speak an international language.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
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