Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Come on in and take your pants off
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