census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
