Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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