We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize
