grandma shit on top of the toilet
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
