bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
