i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
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