so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
