i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize