I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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