I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
She tied me up with her honor cords...
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Randomize
