if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize