So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize