You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
