The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
True college students do jello shots in the library
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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