it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
