On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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