somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
