I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
she told me i tasted like america
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
