The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
