it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
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