Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it