Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(973): View more from New Jersey

I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?

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(631): View more from New York

Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.

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(305): View more from Florida

Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it

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