I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize