Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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