And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
