Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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