remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
