i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
is it fun? or sober?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
