i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
