hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
